You're Not Alone
by treehiller23
Summary: When Brooke finds out she can't have children she's devastated, but with help from her best friend, she might just be alright. Songfic set to Crash and Burn by Savage Garden.


_**Crash and Burn**___

_When you feel all alone__  
__And the world has turned its back on you_

Brooke Davis hated the world. Her life was going well. She had her company, a better relationship with her mother, and the boy of her dreams. But none of that matter now. Life was never going to be what she wanted.

_  
__Give me a moment please _

_to tame your wild wild heart_

She didn't know what to do. She used to be the brave one, the one who could figure it out. Now she couldn't see past her pain. She refused calls from all her friends and barely spoke to Julian.

_  
__I know you feel _

_like the walls are closing in on you_

She stopped going over to the Naley house. She couldn't bear to see Jamie give Haley one of those brilliant smiles. Not while the news was so fresh. She couldn't go out. Seeing parents with their children was too much for her.

_  
__It's hard to find relief _

_and people can be so cold_

She couldn't function most days. Turning on the TV usually ended in tears, especially if the channel was stuck on one of those children's programming networks. Julian tried getting through to her, but nothing worked.

"I don't care if we can't have kids."

His words echoed in her mind. He didn't realize that hurt worse. Or that she was trying to forget them, trying to scrub them from her memory. _Can't have kids._ Brooke didn't need Julian to remind her. Ever.

_  
__When darkness is upon your door _

_and you feel like you can't take anymore__  
_

She had given up. She knew it was true. She stopped seeing the point in leaving the house all together. She stopped sketching too. But the more reclusive she became the more the calls came in.

"Brooke, sweetie it's Hales. Nate and I are getting worried about you. We haven't talked in a while so call me back soon, okay? Love you, Girlie."

"Brooke, it's your mother. I know you're going through a hard time, but we need to discuss business. Please call me back."

"Brooke, Karen here. Brooke? I know your screening your calls. Haley told me the news. Please call one of us back. We want to know that you're okay."

She always hit the delete button.

_  
__Let me be the one you call__  
__If you jump I'll break your fall_

Julian couldn't stand seeing Brooke like this. She wouldn't talk to anyone in Tree Hill. So he called the only person he could think to help.

When Peyton arrived Brooke hadn't been out of the house in three weeks.

She sat on the sofa engrossed in some tragic Spanish soap opera. She didn't even notice the door open. As Peyton stood back, she took in her friend's appearance. It was quite clear that Brooke was no longer the cheery prom queen.

"Brooke Penelope Davis, how dare you not call me," Peyton scolded as she stepped into the living room.

Brooke looked up, startled by the new voice in the room. "Peyton, what are you-"

"Julian called me, but it should have been you."

_  
__Lift you up and fly away _

_with you into the night_

"Get up," Peyton demanded, grabbing a hold of Brooke's hand.

"Look P. Sawyer, I appreciate this, but I just want to stay here."

"And feel sorry for yourself? No way," Peyton pulled Brooke off the couch and pushed her towards the bedroom. "I know you're hurting. But staying in here won't fix the pain, it will only deepen it."

Brooke turned to look at her best friend. She never thought of it like that.

"Peyton pointed towards the closet. "Now get your fashionista butt dressed."

_  
__If you need to fall apart__  
__I can mend a broken heart_

Peyton took her to the park. As all the children played, Brooke started to cry, but held back.

"Why did you bring me here Peyton," her voice was trying to be steady.

"Brooke, I know you wanted a baby of your own and I know this must be killing you. But this is not the end."

"It is for me."

"Why? Adoption was fine for you two years ago. Why is it not now?"

Brooke didn't answer. She knew Peyton was right. There were so many kids out there that needed someone. Her tears threatened to fall.

Peyton looked at her, "You don't have to hind you tears from me. We go too far back for that."

_  
__If you need to crash _

_then crash and burn__  
__You're not alone_

_  
_Brooke let go of all she was holding in and completely broke down. Peyton wrapped her arm around her, resting her head on top of the brunette's.

"Let it out, Brooke. I'm here."

_  
__When you feel all alone__  
__And a loyal friend is hard to find_

Peyton helped Brooke get out more. She went to work, but still avoided the Scott house, and whenever Peyton came by Brooke insisted she leave Sawyer with Lucas. She knew she had to get past this. It wasn't her friend's faults she couldn't have kids. But a part of her, deep down, wished they didn't.

_  
__You're caught in a one way street__  
__With the monsters in your head_

"Momma, Momma!"

Brooke woke with a start. It had been a week since she last had the dream, which was progress. In the dream she and Julian were surrounded by kids. Every one of them either looked like her or him. They were so happy, until the rain came. The rain washed the children away, almost as if they had been painted there. They called out to her, as their features ran together, begging to be saved. Each and every one crying until the last one was gone. She could never get back to sleep after that.

_  
__When hopes and dreams are far away _

_And__you feel like you can't face the day__  
_

The adoption agency hadn't gotten back to them yet, and she started to worry. It had been a almost two months and Brooke didn't think she could handle a 'No' from them. Not after everything.

_  
__Let me be the one you call__  
__If you jump I'll break your fall_

Brooke was pacing the length of the living room.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," she chanted into the phone.

"Hello," a groggy voice came on the line.

"Good, P. Sawyer you're awake."

"Brooke? Are you okay?" Peyton's voice was filled with worry.

"Can we meet? I need to talk."

The blonde didn't hesitate. "Name the place."

_  
__Lift you up and fly away _

_with you into the night_

When Peyton got to the old bridge, Brooke was already sitting in their usual spot.

"Brooke, what's wrong?" she said taking a seat next to Brooke.

"What if they say no?"

"Who?"

Brooke dried her tears. "The adoption agency. What if after everything, I still can't be a mom?"

_  
__If you need to fall apart__  
__I can mend a broken heart_

"Hey you can't think like that," Peyton turned to face Brooke. "You will be a great mom and those agency people are going to realize that."

_  
__If you need to crash _

_then crash and burn__  
__You're not alone__  
_

Peyton pulled Brooke into a hug."And I am always here for here for you. So is Haley."

_  
__'Cause there has always _

_been heartache and pain_

Every now and then Brooke thinks back to the daythe doctor gave her the news. When she does the pain is almost too unbearable.

_  
__And when it's over _

_you'll breathe again__  
__You'll breath again_

As soon as she looked down at the sonogram in her hand she smiled. Not too long after her and Julian submitted their adoption information a girl named Katie contacted them. She had read through their application and knew they were the parents for her little girl.__

_When you feel all alone__  
__And the world has turned its back on you_

The day arrived to find Brooke and Julian in the delivery room with Katie.

"One last push," the doctor said as he helped guide the baby out.

Brooke expected to hear a cry filling the room, but the sound didn't come.

"Why isn't she crying?" Julian asked alarm rising in his voice. Brooke looked on in horror.

"Don't worry, we'll do all we can," the physician answered as a nurse took the baby from the room.

_  
__Give me a moment please_

Brooke couldn't deal with this. She could lose this baby. It was her hope for everything. Julian came to her side, but she held a hand up to him. She wouldn't break down here.

_  
__To tame your wild wild heart__  
_

She looked down at Katie. Panic was plastered all over the young girl's face. Brooke didn't know what she was feeling. She couldn't imagine the thought that would be going through Katie's head. Did she blame herself? Was she second guessing the whole adoption? Brooke was too terrified to ask.

_  
__Let me be the one you call_

She stepped into the waiting room, hoping to escape the feeling of dread creeping up her spine. She saw her loved one's huddled together waiting for news. She couldn't tell them, not until she knew for sure.

"Peyton can I see you fro a second."

_  
__If you jump I'll break your fall_

As soon as they were in a secluded stairwell, Brooke put her head on Peyton's shoulder and wept.

"Brooke, what's wrong?"

"She wasn't breathing when she came out."

Peyton pulled her friend into a tight embrace.

_  
__Lift you up and fly away _

_with you into the night_

"Shh," Peyton whispered into Brooke's ear. "She'll be alright."

"How are you so sure?"

Peyton stood back to look her in the eye. "Because this kid is destined to be Brooke Davis' daughter. And Brooke Davis is a fighter."

_  
__If you need to fall apart_

Brooke laughed a second then quickly resumed crying.

"Brooke it's okay. She'll be fine."

"I know, but what if Katie isn't? What if she changed her mind?"

_  
__I can mend a broken heart_

"Don't think like that. If you do you'll drive yourself crazy. She chose you and Julian above all the others because she knew you'd be the best."

Peyton pulled Broke along the corridor back to the waiting area.

_  
__If you need to crash _

_then crash and burn_

Just as they reached the room, Julian was coming out of delivery.

"No matter what happens I'm here for you B. Davis," Peyton whispered in Brooke's ear.

Brooke walked over to her fiancé trying to decipher the look on his face. He was in total shock.

"Julian what hap-" before she could finish a nurse came out caring a small, pink bundle.

She smiled at Brooke."Would you like to hold your daughter?"

As the baby was placed in her arms, her heart soared. _Her daughter. _This little girl was hers and Julian's and nobody was taking that away.

She looked towards her best friend. The one who got her here. She wouldn't have this without Peyton.

"P. Sawyer, come say hi to your goddaughter. Davis Peyton Baker."

_  
__You're not alone_


End file.
